How can I keep you here?
I feel you slipping away
Once you’re gone, it’s over
Nothing will be the same

I hope I can see you again
Once you’re gone away from me
Why do you have to leave?
This is torture, don’t you see?

Once you’re gone
I can’t bring you back
I can’t handle this pain
You’re not coming back

I see everything closing in
The future isn’t very clear
I have to hold on to you
What will I do without you here?

I don’t know why this hurts so much
But the pain’s so strong, I can’t make it
I won’t believe this is happening
It’s tearing me apart and I can’t take it

I do understand why you’re leaving me
I just don’t want it to be true
We’re so good together, this isn’t right
Our time is ending, what can I do?

I don’t know what to think of this
What will I do without you nearby?
You won’t be here to see my pain
You won’t see the tears that I cry

I can’t seem to stop wondering
If in time I’ll ever see you again
Are these our last few weeks together?
It feels like they just began

I hold your hand and I get chills
Maybe if I hold on forever, you’ll stay
I have to keep being hopeful
Maybe we’ll somehow find a way

Please tell me this really isn’t true
That this was all just a horrible dream
Please wake me up from my slumber
And say this isn’t the end of you and me

Jessica’s MySpace

Go visit!

Protected from the world
No anguishes, no frets
No lies, backstabbing, no games
Nothing to regret

Laughter, fun, and fortune
Protected by your mama
Before you came out
And were welcomed to the drama

You didn’t know what was to come
How life is so unfair
If only you’d known what it’s like
You would have chosen to stay there

You had everything you needed
No kidnappers to take you from your room
There was happiness and freedom
In your mother’s womb

~Broken~
2-09-05

These are my words
That I’ve never said before
I’m sick of this life
No one cares anymore

At the end of the day
I break down and cry
I wake with tears in my eyes
From the last tearful night

If beauty is pain
Then I must be beautiful
Can you see it in my eyes?
I’m hurting. I’m fearful

Maybe there’s hope in this world
Maybe everything, I’ll forget
Maybe it’ll all be alright
Am I convincing you yet?

There’s no hope for me
Why am I even trying?
I should just go back to depressed
Just keep on with my crying

‘Cuz when I fall out of this world
Everything will still remain
All my scars, bruises and cuts
Left behind from misery and pain

So please go away
Please just let me be
I’m already broken
Can’t you see?

Knowing what they feel
A bond that seems so real
A never-ending journey
Through life and love so perfectly

A love that means so much
You’ll do anything for their touch
You’ll do anything for their happiness
In times of pain, misfortune, and senselessness

To be with this special someone forever
Is a dream you’ve held together
Your life just woudn’t be the same
If you were never again to hear them speak your name

This special feeling is that thing
That’s in your heart when you can’t breath
And it seems you’re in the clouds above
This is how I define true love

Please don’t take it away from me
It’s the only thing I know
My life revolves around the darkness
Without it, I’d have nowhere to go

It’s what I see when I wake up
It’s in my dreams, taking over me
It’s with me everywhere I go
All the while, saving me slowly

It’s all I think about in my mind
It’s in my voice when I speak
It’s all around me, closing in on me
Without it I can not breath

It’s my escape, my savior
My ability to run away
It’s my misfortune, my annoiance
My magnet to all the pain

Please don’t try to deny it
Don’t be stupid, look at me
It’s everywhere in my life
It’s the darkness, saving me slowly

Don’t try to calm me down
Nobody ever says it right
Leave me alone, I’m drowning
Suffocating from all this light

I’m trying to fins my identity
I’m fighting with all my might
Lost inside of me, I’m screaming
Trying to find the light

But everytime I come close to finding it
I lose all my sight
I can’t stand this life, I’m bleeding
I’m running from the light

My instincts don’t suit me well
I know I can’t win this fight
Don’t hold me back, I’m losing
I’m letting go of the light

A flower in the meadow
Sun shining down on it
Rain feeding its needs
Unhappy? Not a bit

One day a girl comes
Picks it from its happy place
Takes it home to Mommy
And sticks it in a vase

TLC is what it takes
To keep this flower alive
Lots of love and attention
For this flower to survive

It worked out for a while
Everything was fine
But she started to ignore it
For this girl was only nine

It started to whither
Its pedals a light brown
Crisping at the touch
It was drooping down

The girl took the flower
And threw it in the bin
She went out to the meadow
And found another flower friend

I hope that this example
Does not resemble what we share
For it is very special
And it too requires care

So please don’t treat me like this flower
I do not belong in a bin
I belong in your life
As your dearest friend

I’ve watched 1 1/2 episodes already, and it’s awesome to see how much the show has changed since the first season (it’s now in the middle of season 2) I remember watching the 1st episode ages ago. If you want to read the description of the show if you’ve never seen it, click

One Tree Hill: The Complete First Season marks the beginning of a genuinely engrossing series that maintains, for a long while, an unusual focus on a single, powerful conflict defining the destinies of two characters. Adolescent half-brothers Lucas (Chad Michael Murray) and Nathan (James Lafferty) Scott have lived parallel lives in One Tree, North Carolina. They share a common father, Dan Scott (Paul Johansson), who has disregarded the existence of Lucas, his son by a one-time flame, Karen (Moira Kelly), whom he dumped years before to accept a basketball scholarship to college. While neglecting Lucas, Dan–whose hoop dreams never materialized–has spent his time almost perversely micro-managing every one of Nathan’s moves on and off the court at his old high school, where the lad is currently an arrogant superstar under gruff-but-wise coach Whitey Durham (Barry Corbin). Nathan (whose mother is separated from Dan) is a child of privilege and has been raised to disregard teamwork, compromise, or the feelings of others. He regards Lucas, a basketball sensation on neighborhood playgrounds, as trash, and his own girlfriend, Peyton (Hilarie Burton), as a pretty bauble he can abuse and dismiss at will. Still, he’s sympathetic; one can see glimpses of the human being struggling to emerge from under Dan’s control.

Meanwhile, Lucas helps Karen run her café, hangs out with platonic best friend Haley (Bethany Joy Lenz), and pines for Peyton (herself a punky misfit at heart). He also turns to surrogate dad Keith Scott (Craig Sheffer)–actually his uncle and Dan’s older brother–for support, and sees himself as a perpetual and doomed outsider in One Tree. All that changes when Whitey invites Lucas to join the b-ball team that Nathan dominates, a move that challenges the status quo of multiple relationships in a small community. For about a third of its episodes, this series from creator Mark Schwahn (who wrote the hit film Coach Carter) stays true to the suspense surrounding Lucas’s and Nathan’s changes in fortune. Then a bit of padding follows to the end of the season; there are 22 episodes to fill out, after all. But even as various distractions (a kidnapping subplot, a car accident and coma for a major character) and random events creep in (Dan, rather incredibly, takes over the team from Whitey at one point, thus coaching both his sons), One Tree Hill remains highly watchable. The writing is shaped well and organic, while performances are consistently excellent. (It’s especially good to see Sheffer, perhaps best known for A River Runs Through It, again.) –Tom Keogh

Description
One Tree Hill follows the story of two estranged half-brothers living in a small North Carolina town, who carry on very different lives. Basketball prodigy Nathan Scott (James Lafferty, Once & Again) has inherited the throne of high school popularity once held by his father, Dan (Paul Johansson, Beverly Hills 90210), while Lucas Scott (Chad Michael Murray, Dawson’s Creek, Gilmore Girls), also a talented player stays an outsider. Spending nights shooting hoops on a riverfront court, Lucas remains the son Dan never acknowledged. Now Lucas’ and Nathan’s paths intersect for the first time, and in the middle of the crossroads stands Payton Sawyer (Hilarie Burton, Dawson’s Creek), Nathan’s beautiful girlfriend who just may have more in common with Lucas. Throw in the quiet animosity between Dan and his brother Keith (Craig Shaffer, A River Runs Through It), along with Lucas’ mother, Karen (Moira Kelly, The West Wing) - all of whom must cope with the aftermath of their choices - and something has to give. One Tree Hill has also served as a showcase for some of today’s hottest musical acts, featuring music by Jet, Snow Patrol, The Darkness, Yellowcard, Switchfoot and Five for Fighting. The series has additionally featured guest appearances by Grammy and Golden Globe Award nominated Sheryl Crow and Gavin DeGraw, who’s single “I Don’t Want To Be” serves as the show’s theme song.

1. I love my life, though I may forget that from time to time.
2. My favorite colors are baby blue & black. Together or not. Weird combonation?
3. I love to express myself in poems.
4. My favorite #s are 4 and 44. Long story.
5. I have been to Canada, civilized areas and non-civilized areas.
6. My favorite restaurant is in a semi non-civilized area, and I don’t know the name of it.
7. My dad works on our family’s private yachts.
8. He travels to many foreign countries while on these boats.
9. I go with him on holidays.
10. Speaking of my dad, he is one of my closest relatives.
11. My other closest relative is my cousin, Dustin Welborne.
12. I have two blood related sisters.
13. They have different dads than me.
14. I have one non-blood related twin sister, LeAnna, my best friend.
15. LeAnna has helped me through my darkest days, though she may not know it.
16. I lost my favorite dog, Max about 3 months ago when he escaped and was hit by a car.
17. My favorite band is Good Charlotte.
18. I am an avid Sims 2 player. When I have time of course.
19. I am completely in love with my boyfriend, Brandon.
20. I am determined to become an architect for my career.
21. I plan to go to college at CalPoly Architecture and Environmental Design school.
22. My birthday is November 14.
23. I am 14 years old.
24. There used to be a sex-offender that lived two houses away from me.
25. My sister knew his son.
26. I don’t really believe in pre-marital sex.
27. I can’t stand people who repeat themselves.
28. Most of the time, I have a high pateince level.
29. I can’t stand people who pressure me.
30. I love to dance and sing.
31. I wish I could do at least one of these thing well.
32. I played the Clarinet in 5th and 6th grade.
33. My mom’s ex-boyfriend Curt and his children, Kimmy, Brittany, and Cody have been a very important part of my life.
34. I miss them. Besides Kimmy, I see her everyday at school.
35. I usedto be a total prep.
36. I have changed since then, significantly.
37. I am insecure about myself.
38. I feel utterly lucky and blessed to live the life that I do.
39. My sisters, Sarah and Sadee have taught me many valuable lessons.
40. Among these are: teen preganancy will ruin your future, drugs will not only ruin your future, they’ll ruin your life, and simply choosing what guy you are going to date is very important.
41. I have had about 5 best friends in my life.
42. I connect with my current one, LeAnna, more than any of the other 4.
43. Brownies make me extremely hyper-active.
44. My favorite TV show is One Tree Hill.

Yay! Easier than I thought! Lol. There are so much more that I want to share, but I’ll save that for…Pt. 2? Yes! Okay. Anyways…Thanks for reading!

Issues and US Stuff.
Do you eat meat?: Yuh huh
Do you belive in the death penalty?: Yes’m
If you had a choice, which country would you have chosen to be born into?: USA
Describe your feelings about marijuana legalization: Nope, it should definitely be illegal.
What about gay marriage?: It’s fine with me, it’s not my life or my beliefs, but it’s someone else’s
Red, White and Blue is a ghastly color combination, right?: Not at all
What will you do if Bush is re-elected? Well he was and it was awesome! I don’t like Kerry
Which state do you think will drop off into the ocean first?: I hope it’s Kansas. Lol. Sorry, I know it’s a stupid answer
Who do you consider “American Heros”?: Rocks Stars/Bands

Completely Obtuse And Silly Questions.
Have you ever taken something apart just to see how it worked? Yep. But it ended up not working afterwards
Do you ever yell at the television while you are alone? Lol, yep. And not alone
Name a few things (if any) that you bought on Ebay recently: Nothing yet. I’m looking for an ATI graphics card right now though. $60!! USually they’re like $100. Good deal.
Do you watch the Science Channel (Discovery) on a regular basis?: Nope
Caffeine or Honey?: Caffeine! Lol. It makes me really hyper
How many e-mails do you recieve a day?: Um, 2?

Friends.
Do you have friends that are drastically different from each other?: Sort of….
List a few key traits that all of your friends have in common: Funny
Have you ever been betrayed by a close friend?: Yesh
If yes, are you still friends with that person?: Yeah
Are your friends mostly your age, younger or older?: My age

Family.
Are you close to your family?: Yup
What traits are you glad you inherited from them?: Intelligence(Dad’s side), sense of humor, and determination
Which traits are you pissed off you inherited from them?: No common sense
What sitcom does your family most remind you of?: None
Does your family live locally or far away?: Both
Have you ever stopped speaking to someone in your family?: No
Have either of your parents died?: No thank God
Is your family very much like you or are you opposites?: It depends on what family members we’re talking about here….I’m most like Dustin and my dad
How many siblings do you have?: 2, different dads
Has your family ever thrown food at each other?: Nope
Are the holidays a nightmare or a time of joy?: Joy
Do you look like your parents?: Yes

Lovers.
Gay, Straight, Bi-sexual or no idea?: Straight
Married/partnered?: I have a boyfriend
Ever broken someone’s heart?: Yesh
How many serious relationships have you had?: Two
Do you believe in monogamy?: Yeah
Have you ever lusted obsessively over someone you knew you couldn’t have? Yuh huh
Do you believe in the theory of soulmates?: Yes and I believe Brandon is mine.
Ever cheated?: Nope
Been cheated on?: Yep
Most important emotional qualities of a lover?: Trust

Would You Rather:
Eat a steak or a whole tube of toothpaste?: Toothpaste
Be covered in papercuts or cigarette burns?: Papercuts
Be percieved as intelligent or street-smart (but not both)?: Intelligent
Eat a bottle cap or a spider the size of a bottle cap?: A BOTTLE CAP! I HATE SPIDERS!!!
Be ruled exclusively by your heart or your mind?: Mind
Have the power to read minds or make anyone fall in love with you? Read minds
Chew shards of broken glass or sit on a lighted barbeque grill?: Sit on a lighted barbeque grill
Be able to fly or be able to render yourself invisible?: Render myself invisible
Have questionable integrity or no sense of humor?: Questionable integrity
Granted the answers to any 3 questions or ability to resurrect one person?: The 3 answers

Final Questions.
Ever had a great song ruined for you after it was used in a commercial?: No
Ever yelled at an SUV?: No
A Hummer?: Yes’m
If you could turn back time and change one thing, what would it be?: The beginning of the school year.
Bambi or Nemo?: Nemo

Poems or Songs - Uh, that’s hard. Songs

Theatre or Movies - Movies

Kiss or Cuddle - Cuddle

Chewing gum or Bubble gum - Bubble gum

Typed up or Handwritten - Typed up

High school or College - College

Brother or Sister - Brother

Tan or Pale - Tan

Eyeliner or Mascara - Eyeliner

TV or Books - Books

Mother or Father - Father

Hot weather or Cold weather - Cold weather

Nightclub or Beach - Beach

Cigarette or Alcohol - Alcohol

Night - Day

Drapes - Curtains

Bedroom - Home

Bed - Sleep

Canada - Victoria

Bored - Stuff

Ceiling - Walls

Fingers - Rings

Magazine - YM

Lady - Gentlemen

Washing Machine - Dryer

Banana - Peel

Key - Lock

Locomotive - Train

Handle - Shipping

Cheerleader - Prep

Lock - Key

Cupboard - Shelves

Colossal - Mustard

Britney - Spears

Fountain - Of Youth

Kleenex - Tissue

Knock - Door

Mother - Father

Chicken - Egg

Maryland - Baltimore

Dinner - Plate

Father - Son

Drumstick - Ice Cream

Table - Cloth

Grace - LeAnna

Meatloaf - Meat

America - USA

Goat - Cheese

Virgin - Mary

Television - Show

Prozac - Depression

1) I am a(n)… very weird person

2) My ex-boy/girlfriend was… okay, just not for me

3) I’m always… tripping & falling

4) Maybe I should… fly away

5) I love… Brandon

6) Listening to … Trapt

7) Looking for… something to do

8) I don’t understand… much at all

9) I lost my… puppy, Max

10) My boy/girlfriend is … awesome!

11) In darkness, I… am happy

12) Why do I… act the way I do?

13) Is there such a thing as… perfect?

14) Do you understand… the words that are coming out of my mouth?

15) People say I’m… a clutz

16) Love is… extraordinary

17) Bugs make me… scream

18) Somewhere, someone is… taking their life

19) Is it true that… all dogs go to Heaven?

20) I will always… love my life

21) Forever is… neverending

22) I never want to… be like you

AROUND THIS TIME TWO YEARS AGO, I…
1. Was 12
2. Was in 7th grade
3. Was best friends with Jennifer

YESTERDAY, I…
1. Was REALLY sick
2. Played Sims all day
3. Threw up 3 times

TODAY, I…
1. Slept until 11:50 a.m.
2. Talked to my dad
3. Got my Dell Digital DJ working

THREE ITEMS I HAVE BRAND-LOYALTY TO ARE…
1. Recees Peanut Butter Cups
2. My Dell Computer
3. My Dell Digital DJ

THREE SONGS I KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO ARE…
1. “The World Is Black” by Good Charlotte
2. “Home” by Three Days Grace
3. Every other song by Good Charlotte

TOP THREE LOCATIONS I’D LIKE TO RUN AWAY TO ARE…
1. My dad’s house
2. Somewhere with Brandon
3. LeAnna’s house

FIRST THREE PEOPLE I THINK ABOUT ON A DAILY BASIS ARE…
1. Brandon
2. LeAnna
3. Dad

~*~*~*~*~*~

Is it ok to cuss?:
Sure!

What’s your favorite candy?:
Recees

Do you keep up on current events?:
Not really

Do you get enough vacation?:
No, definitely not.

What is most important to you?:
Family, friends, Brandon, and my pets. No order.

Do you collect anything?:
Nope

Is there too much media violence?:
Yes

Is it right to spank a kid?:
Nope

What’s your favorite car?:
Ferrari 360

Boy Bands:
What about ‘em? They suck!

Planning to go anywhere for Spring Break?:
Me dad’s house

If someone handed you 500 bucks what would you do with it?:
Spend it. Right Away.

Do you have a credit card?:
Sorta….A gift credit card…..

Should teens be able to have credit cards?:
Yes, very much so!

How many E-mail accounts do you have?:
Two

Who do you live with?:
My mom, my dog, my cat, my bird, my fish, and the voice inside my head.

Creation or Evolution?:
Uh….Creation

Can you name the leader of Cuba?:
Um……Can anyone? Other than Cubans?

What are you doing after graduation?:
Taking a semester off of school, then CalPoly!

How many colleges did you apply to?:
None, yet. I’m gonna apply to CalPoly, UCSB, and Stanford though

What’s your favorite hard candy?:
Jolly ranchers

Ever had your heart broken?:
Yes…

Did you keep your New Year’s Resolution?:
Lol…..Nope

Is your best friend the same or opposite gender of you?:
Both. Lol. Got one that’s the same and one that’s opposite.

Do you have any feelings on abortion?:
I think it’s wrong unless you absoutely have to.

What would be your dream vacation?:
Anywhere with Brandon is a vacation.

Your feelings on the show “Survivor”?:
I liked the first two seasons. But I got sick of it.

Thirsty? What’s your favorite drink?:
Mike’s Hard Berry

What makes you like a commercial the most?:
If it’s funny

What do you typically eat for breakfast?:
When and if I do, it’s cereal

How involved were you in buying the computer your using right now?:
Well I asked for it…….

How many computers are in your house?:
Two

Do you read self-help books (Chicken Soup, etc.)?:
Used to. Not anymore though.

Do you think teens should be restricted from buying certain things?:
Well, yeah. There’s some stupid teenagers out there. I’m not one of ‘em Well not in that sense… lol. *Runs into wall*

Do you use Instant Messaging more than the phone?:
Nope

Who would you have voted for in the Presidental Election?:
George W. Bush

What do you think about amusement parks?:
I love ‘em!

Do you like roller coasters?:
Same answer!

If you saw The Grinch, what did you think?:
Lol. Hated it. The dog was hilarious though

Do you play video games?:
Nope

Have you ever beat a game?:
Uh huh.

What usually keeps you up later then you should be?:
The Sims 2 and the thoght of what could have been

Do you enjoy cooking?:
Nope

Do you pay attention to how healthy you eat?:
Nope. I’ve got really high matabolism. So high, that I eat like a horse and I LOOSE weight. Lol.

What couldn’t you live without?:
My friends, Brandon, my family, my music, and my computer

How long do you talk on the phone each day?:
Not often. About 15 minutes with LeAnna and 30 with Brandon

Why do people laugh when they hear or see the number 69?:
Because they’re immature and stupid……………………….I don’t do that I swear

What kind of grades do you get?:
As and Bs.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Current Feeling:
Happy. Confused. Weird combonation?

Current Music:
Hollowman — Trapt

Current Taste:
Sprite

Current Hair:
Curly, soft, bouncy, blonde, and shiny. I like my hair, can ya tell?

Current Dress:
Dark purple PJ pants with Snowmen on them, and a red tank top

Current Grievance:
I miss Brandon! I just went on a 4 day camping trip and didn’t see him once!

Current Annoyance:
My hair needs to be perfect by tomorrow.

Current Smell:
MY hair spray.

Current Longing:
To see Brandon

Current Game:
Free Cell

Current Thing I Ought To Be Doing:
Studying for the finals.

Current Windows Open:
PeoplePC Online Connection, My Sims 2 blog, Editing for my Sims 2 blog, Editing for my personal blog, My folder with pistures of my sims for my update, WordPad for my Image URLs for my update, Windows Media Player, and FreeCell. Wow, I’m doing a lot right now!

Current Desktop Picture:
A really pretty blueish green Gothic Angel:

Current Favorite Artist:
Avril Lavigne

Current Favorite Group:
Good Charlotte

Current Book:
No Greater Love by Danielle Steel

Current CD In Stereo:
None. I’m listening to my computer’s Music Library

Current Video In VCR or DVD:
The Village

Current Color Of Toenails:
Bright Green

Current color of Nail polish:
Black

Current Refreshment:
Sprite

Current Worry:
I’m gonna fail school ‘cuz of me not studying for the finals.

Current Malicious Intent:
Nothing……

Current Misguided Opinion:
That I’m ugly….

Current Crush:
Uh, does my buyfriend count?

Current Favorite Celebrity:
Jennifer Garner

Current Time Wasting Wish:
Playing the Sims 2

Current Hate:
Time

I have been to Canada.
I love New Found Glory.
I have seen Gothika.
I am wearing Nail Polish.
I was born in March.
I hate school.
I am gemini.

I like black.
I share a room with someone.
I have a cell phone.
I play an instrument.
I play basketball.
I love to dance.
I like to sing.
My hairbrush is purple.
I love Ashton Kutcher.
I love chocolate.
I like popcorn.
I am a good singer.
I have braces.
I love to go to the movies
I have a pool.
I have a hot tub.
I like Monkeys.
I believe in love at first sight.
I like Britney Spears.
I like to shop.
I love lipgloss.
I love Dory from Finding Nemo.
I love my life.
I have a boyfriend/ girlfriend.
I have a crush.
I believe in Angels.
I am in love.
I love summer.
I graduate in the year 2008.
I love cookies N cream ice cream.
I love cupcakes.
I go to a camp every summer.
I love make-up.
I love eyeliner.
My hair is its natural color.
I love going to the pool.
I love going to the beach.
I am a book worm.
I like school.
I am going to go to college.
I am addicted to aim.
I watch Amazing Race.
My room is yellow.
I like skirts better then shorts.
My favorite season is summer.
I am in middle school.
I am in high school.
I have my own car.
I have my learners permit.
I love talking on the phone.
I like the name Melvin.
I don’t like Ashlee Simpson.
I love ashlee simpson.
I am a cheerleader.
I like roses.
I get bored easily.
I love watching TV.
I like nail polish.
I like playing sims.

This was taken in Santa Barbara when my dad and I went to visit his friend at the bus station. He drove the bus that I’m in. The funny thing is, I remember this happening. I was freaking out because I thought I might click on something and start the bus and kill myself. Lol.

This picture was also taken in Santa Barbara at my favorite park. My dad told me that this particualr day, he told me we were going to the park and I said I wanted to wear my bathing suit. Now, I don’t know why I would want my bathing suit, seeing as there was no pool in the park, but hey, what can you do?

Lol. This picture cracks me up. It was taken on my mom’s bed in Santa Cruz in the duplex we lived in. As you can see, I just got out of the bath and I was being bashful to the camera. I did that when I was nervous. You know, sometimes I think I might have been crazy in the head when I was little. Wait…..I still am…….Lol.

This is actually a professional picture that my dad had done for me. As you can see by the shirt I’m wearing, my dad didn’t have very good fashion sense back then, nor did I. And my hair was messed up a bit, but when the photographer said he wanted to take it out with the computer, I told him not to because I liked it like that. Lol. See what I mean about the craziness?? Anyways……………That’s it for that. I’ve got way more, but we’ll save that for another time.

I’m not going to take your word for it
I will not stop and listen
My decision won’t come from the outside
It will come from myself within

It’s not that I don’t love you
That has nothing to do with it
I’m not that little girl anymore
Please, just deal with it

Accept me for who I am
Do not disrespect me
The person I am inside is ture
I am reality

Reality transforms
Reality does change
Just like me
It won’t stay the same

Heart pounding, blood racing
I’m so anxious to get there
Everytime I go without seeing you
The pain becomes harder to bare

Dad, you are my hero
Everything you say is right
Each thing you do makes me smile
You bless everything in sight

I feel so lucky everyday
That you belong to me
That you are my loving father
And you always will be

Guys/Girls/Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff

Have you ever been in love: Yep
How many people have you said I love you to: Well two guys, and a couple of my best friends
How many people have you been in REAL love with: 1
How many people have you kissed: Uh…..4
Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex: No, nasty
How many people have you dated: Uh…..12 or something like that. Lol. At least 12.
What do you look for in a guy/girl: A best friend who I can laugh with and be myself. A romantic
What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite sex: Sense of humor
Do you believe in love at first sight: Nope
Do you remember your first love: Yes
Who is the first person you kissed: Zack
Do you believe in fate: Yes, tons!
Do you believe in soul mates: Yep
If so do you believe you’ll ever find yours: Yes I do. I love you Brandon

Family Stuff

How many siblings do you have: 2 Sisters
What are your siblings names: Sarah and Sadee
What are your parents names: Lisa and Wes
How many siblings does your mother have: 1
How many siblings does your father have: 3
Where are your parents from: Well my dad’s from Maryland and my mom’s from the Bay Area. Just like me!
Is your family close: Yes very much so
Does your family get together for holidays: Yep

Do you have a drunk uncle: Lol, no
Any medical problems run through your family: Nope
Does someone in your family wear a toupee: Not that I know of……..my dad should, but you know how it is. Lol.
Do you have any nieces or nephews: God, yes. I hate ‘em! Lol.
Are your parents divorced: Yep–they were never married
Do you have step parents: Nope
Has your family ever disowned another member of your family: Nope
Did some of your family come to America from another country: Uhh……A LONG time ago. From Norway.

Music Stuff

What song do you swear was written about you or your life: Oh Wow, so many! Um, to name a few: Walk Away(Maybe) by GC, Movin’ On by GC, I’m Not Okay(I Promise) by My Chemical Romance, Wounded by GC, and Untitled by Simple Plan
What’s the most embarrassing cd you own: All my preppy-pop stuff from when I was into that stuff. (ie. Britney Spears and Hilary Duff) Lol.
What’s the best cd you own: Chronicles of Life & Death-GC
What song do you absolutely hate: Too many!
Do you sing in the shower: Nope
What song reminds you of that special someone: Wondering — Good Charlotte. Brandon dedicated it to me.

Favorites

Color: Baby Blue & Black
Food: Mexican
Song: Still Frame — Trapt
Show: One Tree Hill, Law & Order: SVU, South Park, Family Guy, and Friends
School subject: Geometry
Band/singer/artist: Good Charlotte
Animal: Birds and Dolphins
Outfit: Black GC sweater and jeans
Radio station: 106.1
Movie: Pirates of the Caribbean and Wedding Planner
Pair of shoes: My etnies tennis shoes
Cartoon: South Park
Actor: Orlando Bloom
Actress: Jennifer Garner
Soda: Diet Coke or Strawberry Fanta
Holiday: Chirstmas
Perfume/cologne: Curious, Love Spell, or Black Heart/Tommy
Card Game: Uh, Free Cell or BlackJack
Video game: Don’t like video games
Website: www.goodcharlotte.com
Book: Now and Forever by Danielle Steel or A Perfect Stranger by Danielle Steel
Computer game: Sims 2
Number: 44 or 4
Cereal: Lucky Charms
Comedian: Larry the Cable Guy
Dessert: Cookies & Cream Ice Cream
Disney character: Donald Duck
Clothing store: Hot Topic
Past time: Talking to friends or playing the Sims 2
Teacher: Wow. Uh, Mrs. Nunn, Mrs. Pierce, and Mr. Null. Lol.
Childhood toy: I forget!
Carnival game/ride: Anything that goes upside down
Candy bar: Recees….Does that count?
Magazine: Architectural Digest
Salad dressing: Italian
Thing to do on the weekend: So many things. My weekends are all different. I like to sit at home and be alone though. It’s my weekend and that’s how I relax.
Hot drink: Hot Chocolate
Season: Spring
Sport to watch: None
Person to talk to online: I don’t really talk online. Yahoo! Messenger’s screwed up right now

Your Bedroom/Sleeping Habits

What color are your sheets: Pastel Yellow
What color are your bedroom walls: White, soon to be Dark Purple
Do you have posters on your wall: Yep, GC and Avril Lavigne ones!
Do you have a tv in your bedroom: No but soon I will
How many pillows are on your bed: Like 5. I’m a pillow person
What do you normally sleep in: Pajamas….Lol
Describe your favorite pair of pajamas: Pink & Black puppies
What size bed do you have: Twin
Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed: Nope
Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom: Internet line………
Describe the last nightmare you had: Splitting up with Brandon
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: My Max replica
Any unusual sleeping positions: On back or either sides
Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling: Nope not anymore
Do you snore: A little
How about drool: Lol no. But my cousin Dustin does! It’s great! Lol
Do you have an alarm clock in your room: Yes
What color is the carpet in your room: Icky Brown
What’s under your bed: Baby stuff and anything else I may have put under there and forgot about

This or that

Doughnuts/bagels: Donuts
Day/night: Night
Wicked witch of the east/wicked witch of the west: Uh, west?
Heaven/hell: Hell
Make love/have sex: Make Love
Coffee/tea: Coffee
Hamburgers/hotdogs: Hamburgers
Rap/rock: ROCK
Britney/Christina: Britney
Swiss cheese/american cheese: American
Real World/Road Rules: Uh…..? I don’t know. Never watched ‘em
Silver/gold: Silver
Nike/Adidas: Adidas
McDonalds/Taco Bell: Taco Bell
Sweet/sour: Sweet
Punk/emo: Punk
Hot/cold: Cold
Winter/summer: Winter
Spring/fall: Spring
Operas/plays: Plays
Read/watch tv: Read
Cd’s/tapes: CDs
Dvd’s/vhs: DVDs
Old/new: New
Shorts/skirts: Skirts
Pink/red: Red
Colored pictures/black and white photos: Colored
Meat/vegetables: Meat
Mexican food/chinese food: Mexican food
Commercials/infomercials: Commercial
Scary movies/comedies: Both!
Bikinis/one piece bathing suits: Bikinis
Sandals/tennis shoes: Tennis Shoes
Dogs/cats: Dogs
Unicorns/fairies: Faeries
Water/land: Land
Sugar/spice: Sugar
Black/white: Black
ribbons/bows: Ribbons
Chicken/beef: Beef
Colored christmas lights/regular white christmas lights: White
Cars/trucks: Cars
Austin Powers/James Bond: Austin Powers
Popcorn/pretzels: Popcorn
Passionate kiss/peck: Passionate
WWE wrestling/ real wrestling: *raises eyebrows*
Back rub/foot massage: Back rub
Picture frames/photo albums: Photo albums
Pens/pencils: Pens

What Is Your Opinion Of The Following

Eminem: Yuck City
Reality TV: Is crap
Religion: Don’t have one
Emo music: Very awesome
Homosexuals: Whatever floats your boat
Abortion: Pro choice
Inter-racial relationships: No problem
Death: Life
Pre-marital sex: Bad, but it always happens
Politics: I don’t like politics
Country music: Icky
George W. Bush: Needs to be impeached
Gas prices in America: Way too high!

What Do You Think Of When You Hear These Common Names?…

Jack: In The Box
Tiffany: Breakfast At Tiffany’s
Ben: My grandfather’s friend’s son
Maria: Mexican girl
Jennifer: Womack!
Nicole: Sister’s old friend
Amy: Forrest
Adam: and Eve
Richard: Richie!
Arnold: Uhh….how do you spell it? Schwartzeneggar?
Tom: Green
Melissa: Sister’s old friend
Charlotte: Good Charlotte!!!!
Harold: Uh. Nothing comes to mind.
John: Smith
Adrian: Grandfather’s friend’s son

Have You Ever….

Mooned anyone: Nope
Been on a diet: Nope
Been to a foreign country: Yep
Broken a bone: Nope *Knock on Wood*
Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling: Nope
Swear at a teacher: Nope
Talked to a gj member via emails or instant messages: gj??
Got in a fight: Not physical. Actually yeah. My sister. Lol
Dated a teacher: Nope
Laughed so hard you peed your pants: Almost. Lol.
Thought about killing your enemy: Yep
Gone skinny dipping: Nope
Met another gj member in the flesh: What the hell is gj??
Told a little white lie: Yep
Told a secret you swore not to tell: Nope
Stolen anything: Yep
Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid: Yep. Lol
Been on TV: Nope
Been on the radio: Yep
Been in a mosh pit: Nope
Been to a concert: Yep
Dated one of your best friends: Yep
Loved someone so much it makes you cry: Yeah…I love you Brandon
Deceived somebody close to you: My parents
Broken the law: Yep
Been to a rodeo: Sadly, yes
Been on a talk show: Nope
Been on a game show: Nope
Been on an airplane: Yep
Got to ride on a firetruck: Nope
Came close to dying: Nope
Cheated on a bf/gf: Nope
Gave someone a piggy back ride: Yep
Terrorized a babysitter: Nope
Made a mud pie: Yep
Had a dream that you’re falling off a cliff: Yep
Snuck out of the house at night: Yep
Been so drunk you don’t remember your name: Nope
Had an eating disorder: Nope
Felt like you didn’t belong: I used to…Not anymore though
Felt like the 3rd wheel: Yep
Smoked: Nope
Done drugs: Nope
Been arrested: Nope
Had your tonsils removed: Nope
Gone to camp: Yep
Won a bet: Yep
Written a love letter: Yep
Gone out of your way to be with the one you love: Yep
Written a love poem: Yep
Kissed in the rain: Yep
Slow danced with someone you love: Nope
Participated in an orgy: Nope
Faked an orgasm: Nope
Asked a friend for relationship advice: Yep
Had a friend steal your bf/gf: Yep
Watched the sunset/rise with someone you love: Nope
Gotten a speeding ticket: Nope
Done jail time: Nope
Had to wear a uniform to work: Nope
Won a trophy: Yep
Thrown up in public: Yep
Bowled a perfect game: Nope
Failed/got held back: Nope
Got perfect attendance in grade school: Yep
Roasted pumpkin seeds: Yep
Taken ballet/karate lessons: Nope
Attempted suicide: Yep
Cut yourself: Yep

Childhood Stuff

Did you play with Barbies/G.I. Joes: Maybe….Lol
Did you own Treasure Trolls: No
Did you watch Beverly Hills 90210: No
Did you play Simon Says: Yes
Did you watch Fraggle Rock: No.
Did you wet the bed: I think so
Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed: Yes’m
Did you wear the underwear with the days of the week on them: Yep. I wore Tuesday’s on Saturdays and Sunday’s on Wednesdays
Were you shy: Yea
Were you spoiled: Yea
Were you abused: No
Did you go to the circus: Yea
Did you go to the zoo: Yea
Were you in a car accident: No
Did you build snowmen: Yea
Did you cry when you scraped your knee: Yea……..
Were your older cousins mean to you: Lol. Dustin? Nah. We’re close
Did you think slinkies were cool: Yea, I loved slinkies
Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer: No
Were you afraid of the dark: Yea
Did you have slumber parties: Yea
Did you have New Kids on the Block sheets, pillows, pajamas, sleeping bag: Nope
Did you tease your hair out like Tiffany: What the fuck…….?
Did you believe in the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus/ and the Tooth Fairy: Yea

As you can tell, this is also out of Architectural Digest. And let me tell you, it’s so hard to get the right quality picture when taking a picture of a magazine, so you can see the flash in each picture. I made sure I picked the one with less glare. Anyways, this house was designed by Edward R. Niles and the exterior is made completely out of glass and steel! It’s frosted on the outside, so you can’t see in, only out. (That means no neighbors can peak in on you while you’re getting dressed!)

The hallway has a ceiling thats over 32 ft. tall and opens into a living room that is trapezoidal shaped.

The owners of the house are successful artists and they wanted a place to keep and showcase their most valued pieces. In the picture above, you can see one of their pieces above the couches.

The courtyard acts like a sort of outdoor hallway. It has access to the dining room, which is pictured above, the master bedroom, a couple living/sitting areas, and the deluxe kitchen.

In some rooms, the interior designer softened the modern feel with carpet and wood molding, like in the master bedroom, which is pictured above. The bedroom features many pieces of artwork, both bought and created by the owners of this amazing, glass and steel house.

2 What do most people think of the city in which you live? Boring

3 What music do you constantly listen to when you’re trying to get happy? Good Charlotte

-when you’re pissed? Three Days Grace

-when you’re trying to chill after a long day? Trapt

4 Do you take good care of your body? Yeah

5 What is your ‘type’? Understanding, forgiving, great sense of humor, loyal, and happy

6 Hamburger or Turkey Sandwich? Turkey Sandwich

7 Do people think you’re pretty/cute, don’t be modest? Yeah I guess

8 Describe your computer’s background/wallpaper? It’s a gothic fairy type thing with her back facing with a cross necklace hanging on her back really low. Gray coloring, very pretty.

9 What does life mean to you? Life is what you make it

10 What makes you a good person? I guess I’m nice to people, I try to be!

11 If you are of age, have you ever stayed out alone to last call? N/A

12 Do you like being alone? Most of the time

13 What’s your morning routine? Get up, stall, procrastinate, get ready for school in the last 20 minutes I have, rush for the bus, freeze my ass off waiting for the bus because I’m always scared I’m gonna miss it and end up being 10 minutes early.

14 What is your best talent? My writing

1. Sweater

2. GC wristband

3. Tank Top

4. Jeans

5. Socks

*5 things you can see*

1. Moniter

2. Radio

3. Soda Can

4. Phone

5. Digital Camera

*5 things you are doing right now*

1. Listening to music

2. Singing along to that music

3. Typing

4. Evesdropping on my mom’s conversation

5. Packing

*5 things you ate in the last 24 hours*

1. Bagel

2. Minestroni Soup (yuck!)

3. Crackers

4. Ice Cream

5. Brownie

*5 things you did so far today*

1. Went to school

2. Got pissed at Nathan

3. Almost fell asleep in geography

4. Got pissed at a student teacher

5. Wrote a poem

*5 things you can hear right now*

1. It Wasn’t Enough-Good Charlotte

2. Me typing

3. My mom’s conversation w/ her sister

4. Dog snoring

5. The little voices in my head telling me I should be packing instead of filling this out

*5 colors you can see*

1. Black

2. White

3. Gray

4. Blue

5. Green

*5 thoughts in your head*

1. I can’t wait to see my dad

2. I really like the lyrics to this song

3. I’m tired

4. Pack, Jessica. Pack!

5. My neck hurts

*10 Names you like*(Names you’d name someone)

1. Aurora

2. Dawn

3. Brooklyn

4. Erika

5. Paul

6. Joel

7. Chris

8. Benjamin (Lol! LeAnna, that one was for you)

9. Jasmine

10. Catrina

*10 objects in your room you love*

1. My computer

2. My bed

3. Me! Lol

4. Calendar

5. Pictures

6. Journal

7. GC and Avril posters

8. My dog Rosie

9. My cat Simba

10. Heater

*Seven people you love*

NO SPECIFIC ORDER

1. Brandon

2. Dad

3. LeAnna

4. Mom

5. Sadee

6. Sarah

7. Dustin

*Seven things you hate*

1. People who repeat themselves

2. Impatient people

3. Snobby people

4. Spiders

5. Snakes

6. Anything else that’s creepy or crawly

7. People w/ no sense of humor

*Seven things on your desk [excluding computer, monitor, etc.]*

1. Camera

2. Pencil

3. Phone

4. Pen Holder

5. Sims 2 CD

6. Dice

7. Recee’s Lip Balm

*Seven facts about you*

1. I love GC

2. I am scared of dying

3. I’m optimistic

4. I like to feel needed/wanted

5. I’d rather live in Santa Barbara

6. I like who I am

7. I am more complex than people think

*Seven things you plan to do before you die*

1. Go to CalPoly

2. Move to New York

3. Become an architect

4. Get married

5. Preferably Brandon

6. See GC in concert

7. Be r